Tag Archives: Poem

My First Poem of 2020

clip art flower.png

 I wrote a love poem once

But the words never made it on paper
Instead, they flew right out the window
And they rose and fell and evaded me 
before shooting across a rose covered sky
Like a comet during a sunset

For two decades,
They followed the waves of the Seven Seas

Crashed against the banks of countless countries
Weaved their way through Chocolate Hills and 
Machu Picchu, along the Great Pyramids of Giza, 
Through the South Pole, and then into the Northern Lights
Where they stayed for a long while. 

And for a time,
I thought I had lost them forever

That they had fallen into some dark abyss
With no one to catch them
Or found their way into a stranger’s distant dream
who would wake up that morning
And forget.

I had never imagined
that they would have fallen haphazardly onto your lap
–– unannounced and without preamble

ages before I had even heard your name,
 

and

I would have never dreamed
That the stars and the moon and the countless suns
had all planned the exact moment
 when we would meet,
me, with my unmarked paper

you, with my worn and well-traveled words

and that you had been waiting
       all this time
to return them to me. 

 

And That’s When I Knew

And that’s when I knew
when you turned to me and gave me your hand
Warm and welcoming
I felt the creases of my paper heart
                —Still fragile and apprehensive
Helpless and willing—
Iron itself smooth

You were the silent storm
returned and redoubled
The wind, so strong, so sure,
so definite and unyielding
that threw me once more into the merciless ocean,
into the current I couldn’t fight against
dragging me down deeper
into cerulean waters

Still, I dived– Headlong
unthinking and unafraid,
Into the tides that stretched
                        Far along the horizon
Sun drenched and smiling
In a chaos of our making

And that is when I knew
We were the eternal pattern of ebb and flow,
of the tides crashing on the rocks and sandy shores,
An imperfect but inevitable wave
being pushed away but ultimately returning
by force above its control.

 

just another dumb poem

pt. 1

I refuse to romanticize myself. I am unstable and indecisive.
Impatient and overly impassioned by the smallest things.
I think too much over minute details. So much so that it paralyzes me.
I hate apologizing and I’m too proud to be vulnerable.
Get bored easily and compensate by being impulsive
My hips often bump into tables and I can’t control my facial expressions to save my life.
I hate the beach and pizza is gross. I take days to reply back and often forget what people tell me.
I spill my water on myself at restaurants, pull doors that are meant to be pushed,
and say “you too” when someone wishes me
Happy Birthday.
I am not a handful. I’m not even two
I would fill 5 hands and still overflow
I’m an incomplete puzzle with missing pieces
And waiting for me to open up
Is like standing in line at the DMV
I am an endless winter
That’s constantly on fire
And I am
a hopeless mess
But if you want me
like I want you
Then I would be your mess

pt. 2

I am imperfect and constantly under construction
But I’ll tell you when your hair looks terrible
And kiss the stray strands that won’t stay down.
I’ll cut the crust off your sandwiches
And buy great gifts I know you’ll love
Open all the links you send me through text
trace circles across your arms, run circles around your mind
bury my fingers through your hair
and laugh at every joke you tell.
Even if they suck.
I’ll follow you to new places, run errands with you, get excited when you get excited
split the tab or buy you lunch when you’re sad.
I’m honest and loyal, and know all the best lookouts
You don’t have to tell me to be there for you, I already know.
I’ll find your best angles
Frame them in every corner of my mind
Amidst the chaos and mayhem.
I would be your perpetual autumn,
In a snow-capped summit
and if you deserve it
And if you’re patient enough
I will show you
All the best sunsets

-petrichor-

Today, the book I was reading got wet
I left it outside on the porch, let the rain
Trample over the opened pages, and
didn’t realize what I had done
until the downpour subsided
And the rain slowed to a drizzle

When I picked it up next, I cried
Such a small thing to get upset over
But lately I’ve been feeling as flimsy as these wet pages
As bendable as the soft paper cover
As fragile as the watered down edges

And lately, I’ve been more and more like water
Like a stream traveling with no destination
Loose, unformed, lacking a single shape
So easily folded into nothing in particular
And as hard as I‘ve been trying,
it seems all I find are shadowed crevices
and because of gravity and because I am water
All I can do is fall through
Separating even more of myself
until I’m just
a
single
drop

But when I opened the book, I saw that my notes
Haphazardly scribbled– were unmarred
The spine of the cover– intact
and the dog eared pages– still folded

When I saw this, I cried again.
And as the droplets began to fall once more,
As the gray clouds danced against the wind,
I laid my book beneath the fan
Walked outside, let my limbs fall languidly
          Felt my body flow north
And joined the rain

To You

In this world, we are only ever given choices
To hate, to love, to take a left or turn right
To fight another day or collapse within ourselves
and let our fragile hearts consume us

In this world, we watch the hands of the clock too closely
Count the seconds like we count the coins in our pockets
Listen to the movement of time like a metronome
And catch up with the hours that move faster than we can run

In this world, life is chaotic and nothing is guaranteed
And all we can ever do is keep walking through the fire

But in my world, you are an artist and I-
I am an imperfect puzzle, incomplete and weary
And you paint sunsets in place of missing pieces
Craft melodies with your hands,
Draw monsoons with your lips and I
I am endlessly recreated by your love

In my world, I don’t know much of anything
I don’t know up from down, this from that,
here from there-

I live my life in a spiral

 I don’t subscribe to fate,
and I don’t know much of destiny
Sometimes i don’t even believe in god

but my god

I love you

 

 

 

 

You’ll Never Know This Poem Is About You

Challenge Day 2: Describe Someone You Love/d

You’re a rainy day on Sunday
You’re clothes fresh out of the dryer
You’re the wind blowing through my hair
And s’mores roasting over a fire

You’re a cancelled class on Monday
Cheetos residue I lick off my fingers
You’re hot cocoa on Christmas morning
And the kind of warmth that lingers

You’re the happy ending in a novel
You’re a midnight snack after sex
You’re the flip side of my pillow
My favorite good morning text

You’re air drying after a nice shower
You’re rocking out to my favorite band
You’re the free food at a buffet
You’re bare feet sinking in sand

You’re a paper cut from a sad book
You’re the dry heat at noon
You’re an alarm clock on Saturday
You’re a hot day in June

You’re a letter of rejection
You’re an Iggy Azalea verse
You’re the anxiousness that settles
When you have to present first

You’re the F I get on a final exam
You’re tequila shots without lime
You’re oil that jumps out of the skillet
You’re the right person, wrong time

You’re a question that goes unanswered
You’re not letting go of the past
You’re wishing I had tried harder
You’re the regret that it didn’t last

This Is How It Feels

I want to love you
To grab the fraying edges of your heart
Sew what’s dangling on thin threads
And help heal what’s still bleeding
I don’t want to fix your shadows
I want to share them

I want to make you believe
In you- and me- in love
in all the world can offer
Give you a million helium balloons
So you can soar into the clouds
Touch the sky, and eclipse the sun

I want to reach for your fingers
Anytime I want, anywhere I can
And when the sun meets the horizon
I want to look you in the eyes
Smile at you and say
Good morning

I want to love you
Show you the best parts of me
Craft a home out of our intertwined limbs
Hold us up on the blades of my shoulder
Watch flowers bloom in our soiled hearts
And know that this is where I belong

         I want to love you
                                                 Then

I want to hurt you
To tear open the sutures I placed
With uncaring and ungloved hands
Watch them unravel, bleed through your ribs
Staining the same skin my lips touched,
Forget the wounds and walk away

I want to make you believe
In every lie, every over rehearsed promise,
All woven by my clever tongue, tell you
That it’s your fault for trusting, believing
In every moment where you thought
We were given forever

I want to reach for your fingers,
Pry them from my own unfeeling hand,
Press down on the bruises left on your skin
And when the sky shifts from blue to black
leave you beneath the fickle stars
And tell you I was unchanged

I want to hurt you
To tangle the ready veins of the love you gave,
Tie them to your trusting limbs, glue their other ends
to tips of my fingers, a puppet to my will
Feel the power you felt when I smile and tell you
This is how it feels

Somewhere

Somewhere

In the world, hidden beneath a concrete bridge,
a child lays on jagged rocks his stomach crying from hunger
In the country adjacent from him the sound of gunshots
fly against the wind screaming for peace, finding only pieces
Of flesh, of animals, of abandoned concrete homes

Somewhere in the world, a soldier comes home to no expecting arms.
No warm embraces with the halls of the airport filled only with strangers,
while imaginary bullets force him to duck beneath the cold wooden table
in the corner of a diner. People stare.
“What’s wrong with him?”

Somewhere a young child watches through blurred vision,
the heavy weight of of his father’s coffin being lowered into the earth.
On to his shoulders. He stares into the sun drenched sky and cries
“Why me, God?”

Somewhere, someone bursts through the fragile glass doors of a hospital
Frantic breaths asking a single question, somber eyes answering

“You’re too late.”

In some dismal reality from our own,
dust settles over unopened letters
Unrequited love decorates pictures
with frames turned upside down

Somewhere, in an unjust, dismal corner of this planet
Spinning in tune with the broken, uneven promises of hope
there’s only a vast abyss rife with hopelessness,
half-baked effort, regrets and what ifs

But here

Here, there is the silent stillness beneath the dark clouds
The half crescent moon a mirror of your smile and mine
The warmth of my fingers curling between yours
And under the canopy of the stars, there’s only me and you
and the grass beneath our bodies, conforming to the shape of our embrace

Today, in this moment, a fraction of the span of our lives,
there is more than what is infinitely imagined
I’ll say we’re the lucky ones and you’ll reply
there’s no such thing
There is only life and there is only this moment

Here, beautiful and messy with our shadows dancing beneath the night
With the future as fragile as the crisp breeze traveling between warm bodies
You tell me not to worry love

That maybe someday we’ll be different
And maybe someday we’ll hate what once was
We’ll push with burdened hearts. Scratch and cry
“You didn’t try hard enough”

And the bruises we hide beneath our ribs will hurt more with each expansion of our lungs

As if every breath that presses against the wounds is just another reminder

And all this will become a memory we will lock within ourselves
We’ll spurn the promises we shared
Wishing we never knew what love was

But that day is not now

Because in this world, tender beneath the stars and cloudy skies 
There is only my soul reaching for yours.
And in the morning, they will awake within the embrace of each other.
You tell me, “now is all that matters.”

And where the the birds sing to the rhythm of my heartbeat against yours,
with the music of the earth in harmony with what I know to be true,
your lips meet mine
And I am overcome

Closer

Eager palms, and soft kisses
Nothing but you and me
The moment fills with anticipation
soft lips, free hands,
loose hips, and perspiration.

Our breaths hitch, together we trip
over shirts flipped inside out
You pull me closer
then closer,
“Why can’t we get closer?”

Matching movement, pulse like thunder
a rhythm like flowing water.
Each touch an endless daze
your hands, my thighs
our limbs a moving maze

I’m too far in to see what’s wrong
Our bodies a tangled mess
A breathless question

“Are you ready?” 

and like a fool 

I whisper,

Yes

Maybe

Thoughts from a year ago
6/18/2015

Maybe
Maybe there is no pattern to the universe
It could be that our very essence ebbs and flows in random circles neither seeking nor finding
only happening upon chance opportunities that are either of great fortune or crippling distress
and to alleviate the burden or joys of such trials
we seek to place blame or glory on a higher power
which
is more than likely spending its infinite existence tending to other more worthy creations
or in the minds of those who believe it is when it truly isn’t
maybe there is no greater plan nor purpose
and we truly all are specks in the wind

Would this revelation be freeing or disheartening?